Freebee

I don't have to flip the coin on holidays, and Black Friday counts.  It's an automatic freebee, whatever I want to do.  And I want to be open to flirting and asking girls out.

I'm not having the greatest mental day today.  I drank alcohol the last two nights so that can't help.  

When I'm high, I imagine, in almost dream-like reality, scenarios where I meet my next girlfriend, or even "the one".  They feel so real because I can easily zone out into them, and every detail is more vibrant and alive.  I live for that sharp love-lightning in my gut and if I have to invent it for myself, so be it.  The problem is, I also have vivid fears and worries when they hit me.  I kind of like that though because they're easier to interpret when they're so loud and in my face.

I brought the "Anxiety and Worry Workbook" that I bought yesterday but soon became very self-conscious about displaying the title for everyone to see in this coffee shop.  So I used the excuse that I didn't bring a pencil - only a pen - for the reason that I can't do the work now.  I don't wanna write anything permanent in it!

I'm almost out of "fun stuff" until I get more around Christmas time.  That's a whole month without it.  I haven't gone without it for three.

When walking into the coffee shop earlier, I overheard a man say to another, "Well that's why I'm a sweet transvestite.  I am the pre package deal."

Now that's confidence!